“Dear Gabbie” is written with the simple hope of bringing a few smiles to your day and is not meant to replace the advice of professionals… especially your mom!

Dear Gabbie:

Is it still most proper not to wear white if you are a guest attending a wedding?

Dear “White” Should I Wear,

It’s interesting to think about the many “proper” dress code rules we have followed over the years. For instance, there was a time when redheads were told they shouldn’t wear red clothes, because those “clashed”! And many of us have followed traditional protocol and worn black to funerals. Now you bring up another traditional “rule”—never wear white as a guest to a wedding.

When discussing proper etiquette, it’s common to start with the phrase, “They say….” and I’m here to ask, “Who the heck are ‘They’?” And also, “Why the heck do ‘They’ get to decide what we wear?”

Full disclosure: I’m writing this while wearing sweatpants, so I will officially go on record saying that my last name isn’t Chanel or Versace!

Instead of focusing on fashion guidelines, let’s consider why the rules might have been created in the first place, specifically regarding wedding attire.

The message surrounding not wearing white to a wedding was introduced so the female guests wouldn’t “outshine” the bride and draw attention away from her. You might be thinking, “Hey, I’m not trying to outshine the bride, I just look dang good in that sassy white dress!” And even though that’s probably true, I’m going to gently discourage you from choosing it. Not because “They” say you shouldn’t, but rather, out of simple kindness. Why take even a small chance of appearing disrespectful or off-putting to the generous couple who have invited you to share in theirspecial day? 

Scientists estimate about 10 million different hues exist on the color spectrum, so I’m thinking that gives you plenty of other options. Simply choose a different sassy dress in one of those other shades. I’m sure you’ll look great!

Enjoy the nuptials!

Gabbie