Matters of the Heart

The Hartkas’ friendship has fostered a happy union of 55 years

by Mary Jo David

When Ken and Loretta Hartka think about giving advice to couples who are contemplating marriage, they begin with, “Make sure you’re friends first.”

Friendship is the magic formula that worked for this couple, who will be celebrating their 55th wedding anniversary in December. They first met when both were working at 3M in Southfield, Michigan. Ken was a copy machine technician and Loretta worked in purchasing.

“She had a lovely voice,” Ken remembers, as their friendship really began over the phone. Eventually they went to lunch together, strictly as friends. The rest is history!

“It was very out of character for me,” Loretta said about dating someone she worked with. At a time when many women were marrying quite young, Loretta was in her mid-20s and wasn’t even sure marriage was for her. She watched plenty of Ozzie and Harriet growing up, but knew better than to think every couple lived that idyllic life.

She was quite sure she wanted to raise a family, but only with the right husband. From the get-go she remembers that Ken was a nice guy, smart, and very considerate.

“At lunch, we just seemed to hit it off, and 55 years later, here we are,” Ken said, adding that he never thought he’d end up with a blonde!

Loretta grew up in Detroit, and Ken in Westland (Nankin Township at the time). They were married in Detroit in a ceremony that Ken describes as very long! Loretta remembers choosing a velvet wedding dress instead of the traditional satin.

The couple moved to the Ken’s cottage on Cavanaugh Lake after marrying. He continued to commute to 3M; Loretta found a job closer to home until their first child came along. Then she became a stay-at-home mom.

The couple believes they have more in common than not. They have four children—two boys and two girls—and spent many happy years raising their family. Camping memories are still some of their favorites along with time spent teaching the kids how to water ski, with Ken coaching and Loretta driving the boat.

They enjoyed camping with their kids around Michigan as well as in other states like Kentucky, Tennessee, and South Dakota.

“We camped over the course of probably 50 years, beginning in a pop-up with the kids and later travel trailers,” Ken recalls.

“Wherever we went, our kids made friends, and I made friends with their moms,” Loretta recalled. “If my kids were having fun, I was having fun.”

When her oldest kids were school age, Loretta went back to work for Kelly Services, so she could have a flexible schedule. She put away money from her paychecks for almost two years so the couple could take their family to Disneyworld. Loretta recalls another tourist saying, “You poor thing having to manage four kids in this place.” That may have been the first time Loretta used her mantra, “If they’re having fun, I’m having fun!”

After the kids were grown, Ken and Loretta continued to camp and travel.

“I never thought I’d do it, but Loretta talked me into going on a cruise, and since then, we’ve been on six different cruises,” Ken said.

“That’s one of the nice things about being married,” Loretta interjected. “You have someone to do things with at home or traveling.”

Retired now, they still enjoy family time, including their five grandchildren. In a relationship steeped in friendship, the Hartkas continue to appreciate their time together. They admit there’s a lot of give-and-take in marriage, and believe you can’t be too set in your ways to be happy together.

Says Loretta, “Ken helps me realize that sometimes I just have to stop being aggravated and let things go. I can count on him to be very calm—most of the time—and think things through rationally.”

Ken appreciates Loretta for being a loving companion and soulmate, and the bonus is, she’s great with finances. But just before the interview finishes, he remembers one more of her excellent qualities—she bakes a heck of a cake!

Photos provided by Ken and Loretta Hartka.

Ken and Loretta Hartka will celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary in December.

In a marriage steeped in friendship, Ken and Loretta Hartka continue to appreciate their time together.