‘This I Believe’ contest returns with second semester winners

For the past several years, Stockbridge High School and the Stockbridge Friends of the Library have collaborated to offer an essay-writing contest in order to engage Stockbridge High School students in an exploration of the core beliefs that guide their daily lives. Held twice a year, the contest is based on NPR’s four-year-running and now defunct “This I Believe” program.

Winners of the semiannual “This I Believe” contest are in, and the third-place winner would like to remain anonymous. The second-place winner is Emma Collins. The first-place winner is Lily Sager.

SCN is pleased to publish the first-place winner’s essay below as SCN’s monthly student-written column. Be sure to check out August’s issue for the third-place winning essay, and last month’s issue for the second-place winning essay.

First-place winning essay: ‘Words Have Power’

From a young age I’ve always known I was adopted. My parents told me as soon as I could understand. Growing up being adopted never affected my outlook on life. I never felt different, never disassociated from anyone; I was never treated any differently than any other child would be treated by their parent.

Growing up being adopted was normal, except for one thing-seeing my birthmother Lisa. My mom Rose (my adoptive mom) was never forced to take me to see my birthmother, but she still did so I could get to know her.  Everytime we went to go see my birthmother, I would complain the whole car ride about how I didn’t like seeing her. I would say things like “I don’t like how she always grabs my cheeks and says ‘you’re getting so big!’” or “I don’t like how she moves houses all the time.” She would move from care home to care home.

Whenever we would get to wherever my birthmother was staying, she would invite us in and we’d all sit on the couch and talk. I never really paid much attention to what Rose and Lisa were saying. Most of the time I’d sit still and stay quiet like a mouse, never really saying much to Lisa; looking back that was a big mistake.

December 26, 2017 was the last time I got to see my birthmother.

I remember I was sitting on the couch with my dad watching The Hobbit trilogy, and my mom came up and told me that we were going to see my birthmother later that day. I was in no mood to go see her; I begged my parents to not take me.

After lots of yelling and begging my parents got me in the car. The car ride there was unusually quiet and awkward; it was the kind of feeling one may get when knowing something bad might happen.

As soon as we arrived at the place she was staying, we picked her up at the front.  She was in a wheelchair so my dad had to help her in the van. I was confused and concerned as to why she was in the wheelchair. She settled down in the seat next to me and leaned over to give me a hug greeting everyone that was in the van, and then not saying much else.

It was strange sitting there in the eerie silence that was blanketing all of us in the van; she had never been that quiet.

Dinner that night was normal. My birthmother Lisa caught up with my parents while I sat next to my brother who kept me company. After dinner we dropped Lisa back at the place she was staying and went home, my emotions all mixed up like a tornado in a trailer park.

May 30, 2018- I had just gotten home from Wednesday night kids’ church. It was my typical Wednesday; after kids’ church I came home exhausted and in a good mood, except this time my routine would change. My parents sat me on the couch and told me that they needed to talk to me about something. I started getting nervous; I became very fidgety. My parents ended up telling me that my birthmother had lost her battle with cancer on Mother’s Day earlier that month.

I sat on the couch in silence for what felt like days in shock over something that I never thought would happen.

My parents asked if I was okay; “yeah,” I said standing up like nothing happened. I wasn’t fazed by what my parents told me. I wasn’t even the slightest bit sad; I was disapointed in myself.

Years go on and every single day I think to myself “what if I had just said something to her?” What was I thinking? I beat myself up every day for the relationship I could’ve built with her, but instead I chose to say those negative things about her and say almost nothing to her whenever I saw her.

I’ve learned about life from a different perspective after my birthmother passed away, and it taught me a lesson about words. Words have great impact on people’s lives, whether it has to do with the absence or the presence of words. Everyone has the choice of how they use their words. I had the choice and I used them the wrong way or did not use them at all and I regret it. As a society we need to be aware of what we say because it might not only affect our lives but someone else’s. This is why I believe words have power.