“Dear Gabbie” is written with the simple hope of bringing a few smiles to your day and is not meant to replace the advice of professionals… especially your mom!

Dear Gabbie:

I’m pregnant and strangers think nothing of reaching out and touching my tummy. Is this normal, because it sure gives me the creeps!

Dear Miffed Mama,

Is this normal? Not really. Is this person intending to give you the creeps? Not very likely.

Often, these “boundary busters” are moms themselves—women who loved being pregnant, snuggling babies, or maybe have grown children now and your visible pregnancy instantly takes them back to deeply special moments in their own lives. From that perspective, she’s just intending to share in your joy, so no harm done.

Again, while her (or his) intention isn’t harmful,  the impact of the tummy toucher’s action can be. Even though this person might see it as a parent-to-parent connection, it’s simply not okay for anyone to put their hands on your body.

These awkward situations can be good practice in assertiveness as well as getting comfortable advocating for your little one. (Get ready; there will be other “What-the-heck?” parent moments with strangers in the years ahead…and with folks you know too. Sorry.)

Simply be prepared for those “tummy touchers” in the months ahead. While in public, tune in to others who exhibit enthusiastic body language with a laser-gaze on your belly. Decide, in advance, what your physical response will be. You do have options: Stepping back? Putting your hand out to “stop the feel?” Also, decide what your verbal response will be. It doesn’t need to be unkind; just a firm “I’m not comfortable being touched” or some variation should work.

Honestly, just trust your instincts on your next response. It might be kindly engaging in a short chat (“I’d love a quick parenting tip!”) or it might simply be walking away after a quick, “Enjoy your day!”

Be gentle with yourself as you learn to navigate this new stage of life.

Congrats, and happy parenting!

Gabbie