Dear Gabbie:

“Dear Gabbie” is written with the simple hope of bringing a few smiles to your day and is not meant to replace the advice of professionals… especially your mom!

Dear Gabbie:

I’m hoping you can help to make our book club enjoyable once again. We have one member who insists on dominating the conversation and does not leave time for others to speak. How can we limit her continuous comments without being rude?

Signed,
Ready to Quit

Dear Ready and Friends,

Gosh, I hope we can work this problem out. Book clubs can be so fun and rewarding, but it sure sounds like you and the other club members haven’t had much fun lately. Here are some simple guidelines to ensure everyone participates and has a good time.

If your book club doesn’t have a discussion leader, it’s time to choose one. Additionally, some book clubs use “conversation chips”; give each person five, for example, and whenever a person speaks, they toss one of their chips into a basket. When they’re out of chips, they’re done contributing to the discussion.

But what about those folks who toss in one chip and go on and on? Nope, duct tape is NOT the answer! Consider having someone serve as a timekeeper. A two- or three-minute alarm serves as a gentle reminder that it’s time to stop sharing. That saves one person from having to take on the uncomfortable task of being the discussion police. (It’s the alarm telling you to zip it! Not ME!)

Sometimes the Super Gabber still does not “answer the clue phone” and needs to be addressed directly. It might feel a bit rude to have this courageous conversation, but it’s not—as long as it’s handled respectfully. It’s best to do this privately, before or after the book club meets. Whoever volunteers to speak to this person should frame their comments in support of the more quiet club members. Maybe Super Gabber honestly doesn’t realize how much she talks and would appreciate your insight delivered in a friendly way. 

Hopefully, these strategies will help you avoid the need for you or your friends to have to “book it” from your club.

On to the next chapter!

Gabbie