Faces of Addiction – Conclusion For the love of my child…

by Tina Cole-Mullins
How does one look into the eyes of children and tell them Daddy or Mommy won’t be coming home, knowing those words will forever change their lives?
That’s exactly what Misty Smith had to do when her husband lost his battle with alcoholism in 2013, the result of driving while intoxicated.
Although her recollection of the days surrounding their loss is a little fuzzy, Smith shares how an early morning knock upon the door woke not only her, but also the children.
This was the time and way the young family learned the heartbreaking news of the father’s death. The children, who were 3 and 5 at the time, were barely old enough to understand, let alone comprehend the magnitude of their loss.
“It hits like a ton of bricks to hear the officer say, ‘you may want to sit down,’” Smith said.
Today, five years later,  the children have adjusted to life without their father as best they can, although the scars still run deep.
“My daughter and youngest has recently been crying over his pictures and the dad she will never know,” Smith said.

Melissa (Smith) Hall’s story
Melissa (Smith) Hall is another mother who had to deliver difficult and life-changing news to her children.
She had to tell five of her eight kids,  ranging in age from 1 to 19,  that they would not be coming home to live. They had become wards of the state.
“I first started with pills in 2008 when I was 26,” Hall said. “By 2010, I was going to a methadone clinic for court-ordered treatment.
 “That was just replacing one addiction with another. By 2013, I had moved on to meth, my current addiction,” she said.
Hall said she first realized she was an addict in 2010. By then she had lost everything, including her kids.
WIth tear-filled eyes and her voice filled with emotion, she said “even for the love of my children, I can not get clean.”
“I have five active felonies and (am) currently (out) on bond. All are drug-related or charges stemming to the drugs. I have never been in trouble, so I shouldn’t get too much time — I think probation,” she added.
Hall was arrested after her interview and charged with multiple new felonies while out on bond. She is currently lodged in Jackson County Jail awaiting trial. On July 11,  she lost all of her parental rights for her five youngest children.
Heidi Mell’s story
Heidi Mell is a mother whose story has a different outcome. She will mark her fifth year in recovery within the year.
“I was pretty bad off and making horrible choices; no job, no car and living out of the Southern Boy motel when I found out I was pregnant,” Mell said.
“I am not ashamed of my addiction, it is part of who I am – but not who I am,” she said. “With several attempted rehab trips and even 90 days in jail, at the end of the day it could not get me sober. I had to want sobriety and up until I became pregnant, I didn’t want it bad enough.”
Mell’s journey to recovery was not an easy road.
“I tried to stop cold turkey once I found out I was pregnant, but went into severe withdrawal. So the doctors assigned me to a methadone clinic to keep the baby safe,” she said.
“I look at my babies knowing I can never go back to that lifestyle. I know without a doubt if I ever did, I would die. My kids would lose their mama and my wonderful husband would lose his wife,” she revealed. “Shortly after the birth of my child,  I detoxed from the methadone on my own, although the doctors didn’t want me to.
“I believe the methadone clinics can be beneficial for a temporary fix, but does not treat the underlying issue, which is the addiction. Essentially it’s replacing one drug with another,” Mell said.
“That’s why I used it for my pregnancy and got off it as soon as I could. I know my addictive personality and I didn’t want to use it as a crutch or new supply source like so many do,” she said.
“I have fought too hard to use again, I could not do that to my family,” Mell said. “Life finally has meaning that before my children I never had. I found purpose in creating a safe and happy home and in being a mom and wife.”
Mell offers some advice and food for thought for others who are addicted.
“I want others to know; no matter who you are, there is recovery,” she said. “You can have a better life as long as you never stop trying.
“You can go through the most god-awful things and not only survive, but thrive,” Mell continues. “Never give up your fight. I did it all for the love of my child.”
Where to find help
If you would like to begin recovery, there are options available. It’s up to you to reach out. Contact one of the following:
• Angel Program
Walk-in at the Stockbridge Police Department, 210 Wood St., Stockbridge, or at any Michigan State Police post.
• Born Free Jackson
Call 517-782-9905 or see the website strong-families.org/born-free.
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